Gidyon
Showing posts with label Imported Post. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Imported Post. Show all posts
August 21, 2012
January 5, 2012
Tumblr Ask of the Day: Is it possible na virgin pa ang girl kahit di dumugo kapag pinasok?
It’s really hard to tell since I don’t have a vagina of my own to answer your question with (if I had one, I’m sure it’s not going to be a virgin one anymore), and I think it’s unfair to ask someone to perform an actual test of this ‘phenomenon’ for the sake of answering your question.
Bago ko sagutin ang tanong mo, itinanong ko na din ito sa ilan sa mga kasamahan ko sa opisina.
Ang sabi nila, pwede na ding mawasak ang hymen - ang manipis na membrane na nakabungad sa kepyas - sa ilang physical activities tulad ng gymnastics, pagbibisikleta, pag-bukaka on a daily basis, at aksidenteng pagkaka-upo sa titi ng kung sino mang hubad na lalaki.
Tapos, I consulted Kumpareng Google and asked him about “Will a vagina always bleed on its first penetration?”
Here’s what I found out, so far:
From this copy-pasted Cosmopolitan article -
Many people believe that bleeding after intercourse is a sign of virginity because it proves that the hymen — a thin, fleshy membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening — “broke.” But not all women bleed the first time they have sex. Not only can hymen tissue simply stretch during penetration, rather than tear and bleed, but it is also very common for the hymen to rip before a woman ever has sex. Physical exercise, like riding a bike or doing gymnastics, injury to the genital area, or inserting a tampon, finger, or sex toy into the vagina can all cause the hymen to split. Sometimes there will be discomfort and blood when the hymen tears, or there may be no blood or pain at all. In fact, you may not even know when your hymen breaks.
Base sa article na ‘yan at sa sagot ng mga kaopisina ko, may mga physical activities na maaaring makapunit ng hymen ng isang babae, at ang siya ring magiging dahilan ng hindi niya pagdurugo sa unang tagpo at virgin pa siya.
Sabi din dito sa Gynecology article
… the hymen is a poor indicator of whether a woman has actually engaged in sexual intercourse because a normal hymen does not completely block the vaginal opening.
So kung maliit naman ang titi ng unang naka-sex nung babae eh pwede pa din niyang i-declare na virgin siya kasi hindi naman na-damage ang kanyang hymen.
At samakatuwid, kung hindi pa napapasukan ng sandata ang hiyas ng isang babae at hindi naman ito nagdugo, virgin pa din siya dahil maraming nabibiling virginity soap at ugat-ugat sa Quiapo na makapagpapabalik ng virginity ng isang pekpek.
Bakit, may issue ba kung virgin pa o hindi ang isang babae?
Bago ko sagutin ang tanong mo, itinanong ko na din ito sa ilan sa mga kasamahan ko sa opisina.
Ang sabi nila, pwede na ding mawasak ang hymen - ang manipis na membrane na nakabungad sa kepyas - sa ilang physical activities tulad ng gymnastics, pagbibisikleta, pag-bukaka on a daily basis, at aksidenteng pagkaka-upo sa titi ng kung sino mang hubad na lalaki.
Tapos, I consulted Kumpareng Google and asked him about “Will a vagina always bleed on its first penetration?”
Here’s what I found out, so far:
From this copy-pasted Cosmopolitan article -
Many people believe that bleeding after intercourse is a sign of virginity because it proves that the hymen — a thin, fleshy membrane that partially covers the vaginal opening — “broke.” But not all women bleed the first time they have sex. Not only can hymen tissue simply stretch during penetration, rather than tear and bleed, but it is also very common for the hymen to rip before a woman ever has sex. Physical exercise, like riding a bike or doing gymnastics, injury to the genital area, or inserting a tampon, finger, or sex toy into the vagina can all cause the hymen to split. Sometimes there will be discomfort and blood when the hymen tears, or there may be no blood or pain at all. In fact, you may not even know when your hymen breaks.
Base sa article na ‘yan at sa sagot ng mga kaopisina ko, may mga physical activities na maaaring makapunit ng hymen ng isang babae, at ang siya ring magiging dahilan ng hindi niya pagdurugo sa unang tagpo at virgin pa siya.
Sabi din dito sa Gynecology article
… the hymen is a poor indicator of whether a woman has actually engaged in sexual intercourse because a normal hymen does not completely block the vaginal opening.
So kung maliit naman ang titi ng unang naka-sex nung babae eh pwede pa din niyang i-declare na virgin siya kasi hindi naman na-damage ang kanyang hymen.
At samakatuwid, kung hindi pa napapasukan ng sandata ang hiyas ng isang babae at hindi naman ito nagdugo, virgin pa din siya dahil maraming nabibiling virginity soap at ugat-ugat sa Quiapo na makapagpapabalik ng virginity ng isang pekpek.
Bakit, may issue ba kung virgin pa o hindi ang isang babae?
December 30, 2011
Nung isang araw eh nag-shopping ng boxers si Aling Maring at Mang Lucio
Nung una, nagpunta daw sila sa 50-peso boxers. Tapos sumunod naman, sa 20-peso each pero mga low quality daw ang dating.
Tapos ang good buy daw nila eh dun sa 3 for 100 na boxers.
Umabot sila ng 500 pesos worth of boxers. Kung wrestler ang mga boxers, Boxermania nang matatawag ang event na yun.
Tapos yung suot kong boxer ngayon, hindi pa nalalabhan.
Iniisip ko ngayon kung gaano na karaming kamay ang humawak sa boxers na ‘to at ilan dun ang:
* Chicks - which is malabong mangyare, unless nautusan silang bumili ng magulang nila or buying it for teh boypren
Dapat na siguro akong kabahan kapag nakakita ako ng rashes sa singit ko, tapos papakuluan ko na yung iba pang boxers na isusuot ko sa mga darating na araw.
* Nanay - sana man lang MILF
* Lola - sana LILF
* May galis ang kamay
December 16, 2011
What if
Nagpalit ng pwesto si Papa Jack at ang isa sa mga Tulfo Brothers?
Papa Jack on a show tungkol sa pang-aabuso ng kapitbahay: “EH AYAN KASI ANG TANGA-TANGA MO! BAKIT KA KASI NAGPAPAABUSO? DON’T YOU KNOW IT’S AGAINST THE LAW ITONG MGA GINAGAWA NG NEIGHBORS MO? YOU SHOULD NOT BE ABUSED LIKE THIS! WAG KANG TATANGA-TANGA PAGDATING SA MGA GANYANG BAGAY! IT'S YOUR RIGHT TO BE VALUED AS A HUMAN BEING! DO NOT LET YOUR RIGHT BE TRAMPLED UPON AND LAMBASTED BY ABUSIVE PEOPLE AROUND YOU! GAWAN MO NG AKSIYON OKAY?!"
Tulfo Brother on a love show for a radio station: “EH ANO BANG GUSTONG MANGYARI NG PUTANGINANG BOYFRIEND MO NA YAN? YANG DEMONYONG YAN ANG NAGPAPAHIRAP NG PUTANGINANG BUHAY NIYO EH DAPAT DIYAN BINUBULOK SA KALUNGKUTAN AT BINIBIGYAN NG KAUUKULANG AKSYON! HARASSMENT YAN ALAM MO BA? MYRNA PAKISAMAHAN NGA ITO SA DSWD!”
And so on, and so forth.
December 7, 2011
SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!
It’s not really my friend, since it’s totally disgusting and it’ll definitely be a source of cringe-fest for all the women in the office.
It appears that I have bad blood (which is not related to being a bad-ass), and this is the second boil that I got this year.
If you do not want to get one of these, you better stay healthy. Eat more vegetables and be more hygienic, exercise regularly, and lessen the amount of masturbations you do each day. I think that’s the main source of this boil.
Come to think of it - this may not actually be a boil, but a product of my mismanaged sperm squirt. Could it be that I have suddenly inseminated my own arm?
I do not wish to know if a child suddenly springs out of my hand, thus I am extracting this with the help of Kath’s medicine from Dubai.
Good side: This will produce a nasty scar, which will be a good reason for a tattoo.
December 6, 2011
Mariano Juancho's Bad Buys
There are a lot of things that a person can buy with 35 pesos: A 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew is already worth 35 pesos in the grocery. A complete meal, a burger, a sundae, 4 pieces of siomai, a hotdog sandwich, 2 waffles, a small bowl of Hong Kong fried noodles, and plenty of isaws.
Apart from the 35-peso worth of half pack cigarettes that I bought last month (which is totally justifiable since it is highly needed by my dying lungs), I also bought this a while ago.
I was under the impression that all Lotte products tastes excellent. But of course, that judgement is based on Milkis (another Lotte product) alone.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I can understand Korean writing. This one right here says: “A useless liquid shit in a can that is made up 72% water extract from peach skin.” It’s like the whole factory of this shit is flavored by a single fruit of peach.
So I hope this is the last item of this series because I do not wish to get poor due to totally unimportant things that I impulsively buy.
Apart from the 35-peso worth of half pack cigarettes that I bought last month (which is totally justifiable since it is highly needed by my dying lungs), I also bought this a while ago.
I was under the impression that all Lotte products tastes excellent. But of course, that judgement is based on Milkis (another Lotte product) alone.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I can understand Korean writing. This one right here says: “A useless liquid shit in a can that is made up 72% water extract from peach skin.” It’s like the whole factory of this shit is flavored by a single fruit of peach.
So I hope this is the last item of this series because I do not wish to get poor due to totally unimportant things that I impulsively buy.
November 30, 2011
Yung Mitchie eh buntis, at hindi siya talaga ganyan mag-isip
Bale may nasagap pa akong balita.
Nagkaroon daw ng matinding misunderstanding sa relasyon ni Piolo at KC.
Nung minsan daw na magkakaroon sila ng sexy time eh pumwesto na daw si KC at tumuwad.
Naghihintay na siyang pasukin ni Piolo nung maisip niya na masyado yatang matagal.
Patay ang ilaw nung mga oras na yun kaya naman pumunta si KC sa switch at binuksan niya ang ilaw.
Kaya naman pala matagal si Piolo dahil parehas pala silang nakatuwad ni KC.
*Yung joke ng parehong nakatuwad eh nakuha ko lang sa joke ng bakla sa comedy bar at hindi talaga orihinal ang mga ideya ko*
November 29, 2011
Work is shit, but it provides the means to buy things that I need
So here's how I interpret things that's listed on my payslip:
The Money I Earn:
Overtime pay - The total hours of work that I have been ordered to complete due to other's incompetence which is also good since it gives me extra time to earn money and slack off simultaneously.
Basic pay - The amount of money which I am very much unsatisfied with and is also the amount of money that I have agreed to be paid in place of my services but keep up with it since it is easier to stay than look for another job.
Night differential - The payment that I receive for not receiving pleasurable sleep and could also be the compensation for the amount of brain and blood cells that I lose each night.
Other premiums - The payment that I receive to let me believe how intellectually adept I am to handle this kind of job and will be used to equate the deductions that will eat up most of my salary.
Total Deductions A.K.A. The Total Destructions Of My Dreams:
HDMF Premium (Pag-ibig) - Deductions for my future house and lot, not entirely significant due to the amount deducted every cut-off.
Philhealth Premium - Deductions that will pay for my hospital bills for eating and drinking too much or basically living my life and abusing my normal bodily functions and is usable at the age of 50 and above.
SSS Premium - Deductions which will make me feel secure at the chance that my kids will abandon me at my senile years and will be the money that I will use to pay for Internet subscription when I am old and useless.
Withholding tax - The punk-ass bitch that I think is not necessary since the government does not give me what I want which is the entirety of my salary and things that I apparently use everyday but does not improve in spite of the fact that I work my ass to pay for these so-called government plans.
HMO Deduction - The payment I provide for the security of my beneficiaries and I wish the withholding tax would just be transferred under this category.
Additional allowances:
Rice subsidy - The peak of all the allowances which provides sustenance to my daily hunger and does not equate to the amount of rice that we buy each month and the money that I most probably have spent on cigarettes and alcohol.
Meal allowance - The insignificant amount of money that I get since I don't buy meals at the office and should be renamed into "cigarettes and alcohol" allowance.
Laundry allowance - The amount of money that I should be paying my mother for the laundry that she does for me.
Uniform and clothing allowance - The amount of money that I should be using to replace all my daily-worn Artwork shirts and is also the amount of money that I should be spending to look more like a working professional/human being rather than a mindless hobo.
November 26, 2011
Yung supervisor ko, nakakatanggap ng mga pagkain galing sa kanyang Secret Santa
Nung isang beses, hindi namin naabutan nung kasama ko sa shift yung naglagay ng chocolate mallows sa lamesa nung bisor ko.
Gusto na sana naming lantakan habang wala pa yung bisor namen.
"Arvin, enjoy your shift!", ang nakasulat dun sa lalagyan.
Napaisip na din kame kung kakainin na ba namin.
Okay pa kung sa babae nanggaling. Ang pinakalalang pwede lang naman nung gawin eh ipunas sa maselang bahagi ng katawan niya yung mallows, bago niya iregalo.
Kaso, KASO! Meron ding mga baklang nagkakagusto sa bisor ko.
Tapos kanina, pinaghati-hatian na naming lahat yung chocolate mallows.
Bahala na kung basta na lang magkaron ng appeal sa akin ang kunsinomang bakla dito sa opisina.
November 22, 2011
Kasalanan din ng driver minsan kahit late akong umaalis ng bahay
Alam ko naman na dapat akong umalis ng maaga para hindi ako nahuhuli sa trabaho. Pero masarap tumambay sa bahay, kahit mas mabilis ang internet connection sa opisina.
Bale nung nakaraang linggo, tatlong beses akong saktong-sakto lang sa pagdating sa opisina.
Tumatakbo pa ako nun.
Mula sa "Dito lang po ang babaan/sakayan" part, hanggang sa marating ko ang istasyon ko sa opisina eh tumatakbo ako.
Bale ba eh 3 minuto ko lang dapat takbuhin yung mula 1st floor papuntang 4th floor (na may elevator naman) na layo para umabot ako sa pinakasaktong oras na dapat kong abutan.
Pero nung isang araw, hindi na ako umabot.
Paano ba naman kase eh yung FX na nasakyan ko eh kasama yung pamilya niya sa sasakyan.
Bukod sa focused na focused siya sa paglalambing sa anak niya, bawat tao na makita niyang nag-aabang eh ina-assume niyang sasakay. Nagpapasikat siguro dun sa asawa na masipag siyang mag-trabaho at hindi sila mauubusan ng chicharon sa araw-araw.
Tapos nung bumaba na yung mag-ina, inantay niya pang makatawid sa kabilang side, habang inihahatid niya ng tingin yung dalawa.
Hindi naman siguro mapapaano yung mag-ina mo no? Pwedeng umalis na tayo para miski man lang isang minuto bago ako mag-login eh umabot ako?
Kaso, hindi. Inintay niya munang mawala sa paningin niya yung mag-ina bago tuluyang umandar.
Tapos, isinakto pang may lalaking gumamit ng elevator para lang umakyat mula sa 2nd floor, papunta sa 3rd floor.
Hehe. Facepalm all over the place na lang eh.
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