But I do play sports, not just the sporty spice kind of sporty.
I remember my brother breaking his arm in one of his basketball game. The break is bad that it even had to be casted away. Not with Tom Hanks and Wilson though, just the plastered white cement kind of cast.
And when you have a broken arm, there aren't many choices for you in your life. You wipe your ass and you put the food in your mouth with the same hand, same fingers, and same fingernails.
I can just imagine how he washes his ass with a single hand.
You know how most of us isn't contented with just a wipe of a tissue. As for me, I do need a process after I just took a dump, not just a single task of wipe and go. And I get that from washing my ass with soap and water. It's kind of hard with me if I go with one hand. Like I said, it's a process so I need the other hand to pour the water and then the other hand to wash the dirty dish away from the hole. It's similar to the union of body and soul: The union of left and right hand, soap, lather, pour, rinse, smile. It's not a big deal if I smile after I take a dump, it's self-fulfillment after all.
It's probably like this (don't take it as if I've seen it with my eyes, I just thought of it this way): He first wets his hand then bubble it up with the soap. Then he gently soaps up his asshole with the soap-bubbled hand.
And knowing my brother with all his skid-marked underwear, it's not so special if there's a patch of shit clogging at the entry of his asshole. That's where the trouble begins. You have to scrape it especially if its a sticker type of dump, because there IS actually no way that you could shake that off even if you get jiggy or wiggly with it. And even if you furiously tried doing that hole thing, like you make it blink or something (just like what the chicks -- chicken offsprings, animal, fowl, et. al, get the picture?-- do when you blow their bottoms, it's like MOMOMOMOM kind of movement, like it's blinking) what the veteran porn stars do to make it more tight back there, there's no way that you could make tiny piece of shit drop.
So you have to scrape it. With two or three of your fingers. With your yet to be unclipped fingernails.
So after you scrape it, you again go back to process of taking the soap, lather, pour, wash, so and so and so, and it's tiring for a single-handed person. So I guess my brother would just eliminate one element to lighten up the process.
No it's not water, of course it's the soap! That's just my conclusion so don't base my brother's personality on that tiny detail. Don't be afraid to shake his hand, he's doing well now and all hands are fully operational so the soap is, again, back in the process.
And at the course of the day, he has to eat with the same hand, without utensils, and my sister asking if he washed his hands after the bathroom process, and him thinking that he shouldn't have played that hard to get him in that predicament.