Nung isang araw eh nag-shopping ng boxers si Aling Maring at Mang Lucio

Nung una, nagpunta daw sila sa 50-peso boxers. Tapos sumunod naman, sa 20-peso each pero mga low quality daw ang dating.

Tapos ang good buy daw nila eh dun sa 3 for 100 na boxers.

Umabot sila ng 500 pesos worth of boxers. Kung wrestler ang mga boxers, Boxermania nang matatawag ang event na yun.

Tapos yung suot kong boxer ngayon, hindi pa nalalabhan.

Iniisip ko ngayon kung gaano na karaming kamay ang humawak sa boxers na ‘to at ilan dun ang:

* Chicks - which is malabong mangyare, unless nautusan silang bumili ng magulang nila or buying it for teh boypren
* Nanay - sana man lang MILF
* Lola - sana LILF
* May galis ang kamay

Dapat na siguro akong kabahan kapag nakakita ako ng rashes sa singit ko, tapos papakuluan ko na yung iba pang boxers na isusuot ko sa mga darating na araw.

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What if

Nagpalit ng pwesto si Papa Jack at ang isa sa mga Tulfo Brothers?

Papa Jack on a show tungkol sa pang-aabuso ng kapitbahay: “EH AYAN KASI ANG TANGA-TANGA MO! BAKIT KA KASI NAGPAPAABUSO? DON’T YOU KNOW IT’S AGAINST THE LAW ITONG MGA GINAGAWA NG NEIGHBORS MO? YOU SHOULD NOT BE ABUSED LIKE THIS! WAG KANG TATANGA-TANGA PAGDATING SA MGA GANYANG BAGAY! IT'S YOUR RIGHT TO BE VALUED AS A HUMAN BEING! DO NOT LET YOUR RIGHT BE TRAMPLED UPON AND LAMBASTED BY ABUSIVE PEOPLE AROUND YOU! GAWAN MO NG AKSIYON OKAY?!"

Tulfo Brother on a love show for a radio station: “EH ANO BANG GUSTONG MANGYARI NG PUTANGINANG BOYFRIEND MO NA YAN? YANG DEMONYONG YAN ANG NAGPAPAHIRAP NG PUTANGINANG BUHAY NIYO EH DAPAT DIYAN BINUBULOK SA KALUNGKUTAN AT BINIBIGYAN NG KAUUKULANG AKSYON! HARASSMENT YAN ALAM MO BA? MYRNA PAKISAMAHAN NGA ITO SA DSWD!”

And so on, and so forth.

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SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!

It’s not really my friend, since it’s totally disgusting and it’ll definitely be a source of cringe-fest for all the women in the office.

It appears that I have bad blood (which is not related to being a bad-ass), and this is the second boil that I got this year.

If you do not want to get one of these, you better stay healthy. Eat more vegetables and be more hygienic, exercise regularly, and lessen the amount of masturbations you do each day. I think that’s the main source of this boil.

Come to think of it - this may not actually be a boil, but a product of my mismanaged sperm squirt. Could it be that I have suddenly inseminated my own arm?

I do not wish to know if a child suddenly springs out of my hand, thus I am extracting this with the help of Kath’s medicine from Dubai.

Good side: This will produce a nasty scar, which will be a good reason for a tattoo.

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Mariano Juancho's Bad Buys

There are a lot of things that a person can buy with 35 pesos: A 2-liter bottle of Mountain Dew is already worth 35 pesos in the grocery. A complete meal, a burger, a sundae, 4 pieces of siomai, a hotdog sandwich, 2 waffles, a small bowl of Hong Kong fried noodles, and plenty of isaws.

Apart from the 35-peso worth of half pack cigarettes that I bought last month (which is totally justifiable since it is highly needed by my dying lungs), I also bought this a while ago.

I was under the impression that all Lotte products tastes excellent. But of course, that judgement is based on Milkis (another Lotte product) alone.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I can understand Korean writing. This one right here says: “A useless liquid shit in a can that is made up 72% water extract from peach skin.” It’s like the whole factory of this shit is flavored by a single fruit of peach.

So I hope this is the last item of this series because I do not wish to get poor due to totally unimportant things that I impulsively buy.

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